The ER Cafe

So..... I should have posted this blog a few weeks ago, but it's been a couple of rotten weeks of sick children, sick mommies, and out-of-town daddies. Suffice to say, I've not been in the mood to be witty.

But there's a story that begs to be told, and while I'm STILL sick, if I don't write this down soon, all of the snot stuck in my sinuses is going to take over my brain as well, and the memory will be lost for good.

Those of you who read my blog on my MySpace page might remember an entry titled "The Allergy Spa," in which I described how much I enjoyed the experience of getting tested for allergies, for the simple reason that I was given several child-free hours of just sitting still in a nice recliner. Never mind those pesky needles and the 64 holes in my right arm.

This is a similar blog.

A few weeks ago when the boys and I were camped out at my parents' house (again), I was settling down to work on my latop while the boys napped. I had just woken up from a delicious nap of my own and it was time to get serious. The phone rang, and it was Mom. She was with my sister, Allison, who had (acccidentally, I need to add) stabbed herself in her hand with a knife in an unfortunate incident with what will now go down in family history as the Very Last Piece of a Frozen Weight Watcher Cake that Wouldn't Budge. I hate it when that happens. Alli needed to go to the ER, and someone either needed to watch Eliza, her 14-month-old daughter, or take Alli to the ER.

I weighed my options quickly but carefully. Sick, cranky child who had napped poorly that day (plus my two boys).... or the Cabell ER, commonly known around here as the Seventh Ring of Hell. This was a hard one, truly. Then, in the back of my mind, I seemed to remember the ER had recently undergone an extensive renovation and was actually quite nice. I think I even heard they had... could it be.... Wi-Fi??? I love Eliza to pieces, I must make this clear. But....

"Ummm.... I'll take Alli to the ER."

As soon as my mom walked in with poor, red-faced, snot-nosed, miserable little Eliza, I knew I'd made the right decision. Door #2 was definitely the winner. I breezed out to the car, laptop and a good book in tow.

Upon arrival at the ER, I was not disappointed. The ER was in an entirely different location from the previous dungeon of filfth. The walls and decor were designed, it would seem, in direct imitation of my Very Favorite Place Ever, Panera. Warm colors, granite countertops, comfortable private seating, a flatscreen TV with Law & Order on, and yes, dear reader, Wi-Fi. Of course, there was still that inevitable icky hospital smell of antiseptic and cigarette smoke. But really, I was pretty excited. I camped out with all my stuff and settled in for what I hoped was a nice, long ER visit.

But what I didn't realize was that not only was this new ER pretty to look at. It was also much more functional, a novelty that normally would have thrilled me but this time left me somewhat dismayed. Alli was called to a triage center almost immediately, and in less than a few minutes, she was getting ready to head back to a treatment room for stitches and a tetanus shot. For a brief moment, she looked at me as it to say "Um, are you coming?"

But I simply could not make myself get out of that chair. I was so happy there in the waiting room. What if they didn't have Wi-Fi back there?

In an instant, she realized I wasn't going anywhere, and with what I am sure was disappointment, she turned and left to go back there all by herself. I'm sorry! I wanted to call out. Are you sure? I can come with you if you really want! I felt myself start to say. But I didn't. I just sat there selfishly with my little laptop, guilty but as happy as a clam.

So as poor Alli sat back there by herself getting shots and stitches, I got some actual work done and enjoyed myself. Thoroughly. My only real issue was that I was literally twitching for a chai tea latte or cappuchino or something of that nature. While working I would reach over to grab my drink and realize with sadness each time it was just a boring bottle of water. I resisted the temptation to go ask the ER receptionist where I could find something fun to drink.

All too soon, Alli was done and we were out the door, but not before I made sure she didn't have any other emergencies she needed taken care of before we left this nice place. She assured me that she didn't.

I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about returning there to get some work done during the week instead of going to Starbucks or Panera. I wonder how many days it would take before I'd get thrown out?