Does it ever end?

I regret to inform you that I have yet another poop story.

Not suprisingly, the story is focused on Ben. In my mind and heart, I really try not to compare the boys, especially when it comes to this. It just makes me resentful toward Ben, and I don't want to do that. He can't help it that Jake figured it out first that wearing your poop is..... disgusting.

Ben dislikes the whole idea of pooping so much now that he procrastinates about it. He goes about every two days or so. When we know that it's been awhile and a poop is imminent, we brace ourselves. We used to constantly ask him if he needed to go, but we just kind of gave up. He won't tell us anyway. I know we're breaking all sort of potty-training rules, but this has been a war of attrition, and so far, he's winning.

So it was no surprise to me when he marched up from the basement this evening for bathtime and proudly announced, "I pooped in my underwear."

"You what?"

"I pooped in my underwear," he repeated, nodding his head for emphasis and smiling his evil little smile in pleasure. I nearly laughed but caught myself. To keep myself from getting furious, I tell myself that the poor child copes with his failure by using humor. I expressed my disappointment with zero response from Mr. Ben. Off to the bathroom.

It was pretty obvious that this was not a recent poo, and as I sat in the floor cleaning him up, I asked him exactly when he was going start pooping in the potty. Remembering our conversation earlier in the day about preschool (where they MUST be potty-trained) starting in two weeks, he decidedly answered me.

"In two weeks."

"Well, why don't you go ahead and start pooping in the potty before then?"

"No. I poop in the potty in two weeks."

Dude, you better be right. Or it's going to be a looonnnnng year when you get kicked out of preschool.

Meanwhile, Jake slid by me to go pee in the potty. As he stood on his stool to pee, he looked over at Ben and became so intrigued by the unholy mess on Ben's bottom that he just gaped. Completely forgetting where he even was, Jake peed a Lake of Pee directly to the left of the toilet. It immediately began creeping over to where I was sitting with Ben.

Cleaning Ben up the best I could quickly, I sent them off to clean up the toys in their bedroom while I mopped up the floor. Finally ready to start their bath, I went to retrieve them from their room. And there they sat on Jake's clean sheets, two little not-so-clean bare bottoms.

I'm so tired of the poop.